Have you ever found yourself reacting to a stressful situation in a way that you later regret? Maybe you said something in the heat of the moment or let frustration dictate your actions. I’ve been there. But discovering one simple idea has made a world of difference in how I handle stress—and it might help you, too.

It’s the concept of stimulus – think – response.

Most of us live in a reactive mode. Something happens (stimulus), and we respond immediately. This reflex is great for quick physical reactions, like jumping out of the way of a speeding bicycle. But in our daily lives, when it comes to relationships, work challenges, or emotional situations, this automatic response can often create more stress.

What I’ve learned is that between the stimulus and the response, there’s a space—a chance to think. That pause, no matter how brief, is where the magic happens.

This idea has roots in stoic philosophy, which emphasises focusing on what we can control and letting go of what we can’t. Viktor Frankl, a neurologist and Holocaust survivor, beautifully captured this concept in his book Man’s Search for Meaning:

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

A Brief Look at Stoicism

Stoicism is a philosophy that originated in ancient Greece and gained prominence in Rome. Its core teachings revolve around the idea of accepting what we cannot control, mastering our emotions, and living a virtuous life. Here are three of the main stoic philosophers whose ideas continue to resonate:

• Epictetus (55–135 AD): A former slave who taught that while we cannot control external events, we can control our thoughts and attitudes. His teachings emphasise the importance of focusing on what’s within our power.

• Seneca (4 BC–65 AD): A Roman statesman and playwright, Seneca wrote extensively on how to navigate life’s challenges with wisdom and composure. His letters and essays offer practical advice on how to deal with stress and adversity.

• Marcus Aurelius (121–180 AD): The Roman emperor and author of Meditations, Marcus Aurelius practiced and wrote about stoicism while leading an empire. His reflections on leadership, responsibility, and inner peace remain some of the most influential stoic texts.

These philosophers taught that life’s challenges are opportunities to practice self-discipline, patience, and resilience. They believed that by focusing on what we can control—our thoughts, actions, and reactions—we can live with greater peace and purpose.

How I Apply This in Daily Life

When I started practicing this idea, I realised how much of my stress came from reacting without thinking. A frustrating email, a sharp comment, or even a simple inconvenience would spark an automatic response. Now, I aim to pause. That pause, even if it’s just a deep breath or a few seconds of silence, helps me regain control.

Here’s how you can apply this idea in your own life:

1. Recognise the stimulus. Notice the moment that triggers your stress or reaction. It could be a challenging situation, an unexpected demand, or even just a negative thought.

2. Pause. Take a breath, count to five, or give yourself time to process what’s happening. This is your “space.”

3. Choose your response. Ask yourself, “What’s the best way to handle this? What outcome do I want?” This conscious choice often leads to a response that reduces stress rather than amplifies it.

Recommended Reading

If you’re curious about this approach to stress, I highly recommend Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning. For a deeper dive into stoic philosophy, you can explore The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday or read the original works of Epictetus (The Enchiridion), Seneca (Letters from a Stoic), or Marcus Aurelius (Meditations).

Give it a try. The next time you feel stress bubbling up, take a moment to pause and think before responding. That small shift might just change everything.

What do you think? Have you tried something like this before? Let me know in the comments—I’d love to hear your thoughts.